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Post by 5m4llP0X on Jun 9, 2008 22:56:16 GMT -5
Below is a list of comments I have HAD to use on customers to get them to STFU.
"I'm sorry, but my records do not coincide with your story." "Ma'am. You are Out of Warranty. I don't have to give you anything!" "For this issue: You have reached the highest level of support that will accept a phone call!" "I'm sorry you feel that way, but you still have to pay for out of warranty support!" "At this moment: If this call will not progress further I will be forced to disconnect. You have your options and if you chose not to take them, then I see no reason to remain on the phone."
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Post by canotila on Jun 9, 2008 23:33:19 GMT -5
Sounds like they might have some ID ten T errors going on there... I think the problem exists between keyboard and chair... ahahah...
Jeebus bless you tech support people... that's why I'm going into programming. Lock me in a room with a computer and no humans. I think I'd have to choke some people if I had to do tech support. I get entirely too frustrated with clueless people... and yet my classmates still insist on emailing me for help when they are lost (which is a daily occurance)...
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Post by 5m4llP0X on Jun 10, 2008 0:11:53 GMT -5
On a bit of a more back story: The customers get escalated to me if they're unwilling to work with the agent that answers the phone, or there's an issue that the agent cannot resolve (refund). The customer is then sent to me and I tell them to sit down and shut the fuck up and learn their place.
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Post by canotila on Jun 10, 2008 9:03:08 GMT -5
Know your role Jabroni!
Oh god... yes I used to date a guy that was obsessed with wrestling and The Rock. We also spent almost every nite playing AD&D.
I R N3RD!
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Post by 5m4llP0X on Jun 10, 2008 13:33:15 GMT -5
Ones I've been wanting to use: When a customer screams out "I'm never buying an HP again!" is "I understand your frustration, and it is your choice, however we do not suggest nor condone this action..." In a way: I'd be threatening them, I know. "OK, understand something here: A customer is someone who exchanges money for our goods or services, correct? ... You are now asking us for money."
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Post by canotila on Jun 10, 2008 15:00:55 GMT -5
Ones I've been wanting to use: When a customer screams out "I'm never buying an HP again!" is "I understand your frustration, and it is your choice, however we do not suggest nor condone this action..." In a way: I'd be threatening them, I know. "OK, understand something here: A customer is someone who exchanges money for our goods or services, correct? ... You are now asking us for money." A smartass techie, who woulda thunk it? Oh well, I likes. I used to have a "talk nerdy to me baby" t-shirt... which mysteriously disappeared. I still do rock my Milhouse "I <3 Geeks" shirt. So whatever happened to the age when us geek girls were widely sought after? Did emo and rap ruin that too? Hahahaha... Not that it's anything new, but please ignore the randomness... I woke up from my nap (and a very strange dream involving me giving a bath to a son I don't have IRL and he kept trying to eat all the shampoo), with a terrible migraine. So what do I do? Go right back to sitting on the couch and entertaining myself on the forums! Hehehe... There she stands this *pathetic* creature, there she stands, there she stands... oh wait... that's the other forum...
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Post by 5m4llP0X on Jun 11, 2008 3:14:59 GMT -5
I'm supposed to be "Non technical" when I'm introduced to the customer. And usually the customers are just dip-shits. Like the "Make Vista compatible with my software then!" "From the information I'm pulling up: It is. If you truly believe it's not, then you may want to write to *MICROSOFT* and ask them to release an update to help with functionality. Or, you can try the provider of the software" "That's not good enough! I want a new computer!" "And I want a Manhattan and you to get off my phone, but it seems we're stuck in this situation so let's try to make the best of it, ok?"
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